Signs That You’re Settling in a Relationship

Dating and relationships aren’t easy. You find a person and you think “eh this will do” or you're like “finally the love of my life.” There is settling and there is picky. To know the difference you have to KNOW YOURSELF. If you have a certain type of person that you want to attract. Then make sure you bring those same traits to the table. Recognize that it’s not always settling. Sometimes it’s the best that you can do. Level up if you want something better. Too harsh? Too real? You get me. But for those of you that don’t know your self-worth. Let’s talk about if you’re settling.

You Make Excuses A Lot

If you are always justifying why you’re dating someone. You have to wonder why. When I say to justify. I mean that they’re so wack. Your friends and family see no good qualities in them. Thus you have to “make them see.” If you’re with someone worthy of your time and energy. You don’t have to justify why you’re with them. You’ll know they’re a good catch and your friends will see they’re a good catch. If you’re like “I know he crashed my car and got a DUI but he can cook!” that’s not it. Stop making excuses.

You can’t stand them

Shout out to the settlers. You’re not fooling anyone. If there is something I can’t stand it’s hanging out with a couple that has settled. This sometimes stems from relationships that have come from the friendzone. But I find that when someone settles for a relationship. That person is always mad. Mad for no reason. Everything about their partner pisses them off. Don’t get me wrong everyone has quirks. You’re boyfriend or girlfriend will do things that annoy you. But if their mere existence and breathing piss you off to the point you can’t stand them. Then you’re settling.

They’re never there

I get it, everyone has goals and dreams. Sometimes you get with the hustler and they are go go go. But if it’s your birthday, you’re having a party and they’re not there. RED FLAG. The whole point in having a relationship is to share milestones with a person. If they always have an excuse why they can’t make it. That is not good. Someone that loves you will be there to celebrate with you and try to be part of the important moments. This includes meeting your friends and family. I have friends where I have never met their boyfriends because they’re never at the events with them.

You don’t want to be alone

If you’re with someone because you don’t want to be alone. That’s not fair to you or them. That’s a crappy and wimpy reason to be with someone. As a former member of the single af crew. I was single for a long time. It’s not the worst thing in the world. In fact, by avoiding it in this situation you might be missing out on someone that is a great match for you. That doesn’t make you feel like you’re with someone because you don’t want to be “alone.” If you’re not feeling it now you definitely won't feel it later. Which can turn into resentment.

They don’t support your dreams

If they brush your dreams to the side or make you feel stupid for them. Then you’re settling. Plain and simple. If your dream is to be a clown. Then the person you’re dating better gift you with a red nose and some clown makeup. A healthy relationship means you listen and support one another. You’re interested in goals and dreams and you want to help make them happen. If you’re afraid to talk to your partner or the person you’re dating about what’s going on in your head. Then you should start looking elsewhere for dates.

Bonus tip

Listen to your gut! Trust me it will be there on the first date. If you feel for an instant this isn’t the one. Then listen to your gut. It’s your best friend. You can strengthen it by meditation, taking deep breaths, and being present. Now a gut feeling isn’t the same as overthinking and sabotaging. A gut instinct will come in a flash. Whereas overthinking can last a few days you create scenarios that aren’t true. Learn to listen to your gut and it will save you from settling.

To see more videos on Millennial lifestyle and dating check out my YouTube Channel.

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