First Date Questions to See if It's Serious

I used to call myself "professionally single" and a member of the single AF crew. I went on a lot of dates. I'm an expert on dates but one of the questions I break down helped me land my fiance. Let's get into the top questions to ask on a first date. These questions will let you know if they're serious about a relationship. If they are vibing with you then none of these questions will scare them off.

How’s Your Day Been Going?

I mean it’s simple but I didn’t want to start you off with a heavy hitter. You can learn a lot about a person by asking them about their day. If they give you a positive upbeat answer that is a good sign. You want to pay attention to how they answer the questions. Do they give you a lot of details about their day? Do they look uneasy when you ask? Do then answer with one-word answers? The way they engage with you can show how invested they are in giving this first date a chance. If they answer with one-word answers and don’t ask about your day. That’s a red flag of lacking people skills.

What’s your relationship like with your parents and siblings?

This is a big one. The relationship you have with your parents is the first relationship of your life. How you treat people and your examples of love can come from your parents and siblings. Learning about a person’s relationship with them shows what kind of person you might be dealing with. Again, this isn’t a make-or-break conversation. It can give hints on how they feel about starting a family of their own one day. If that’s important to you this is a good way to gauge if it is to them.

The point is if they can keep a strong relationship with their parents. They have someone to give them solid advice and keep them on track in a love relationship.

Do you always plan on living in [insert city]?

This question is very important. Especially if you have dreams of sailing the world in a few years. It will determine if there is longevity in the relationship. If they mention that they plan on moving to New York next year for a job. Then you know they might not be looking at dating like you are. If they are, are you willing to have a long-distance relationship? Do you want to play it out and see? Knowing ahead of time what their plans are. Even if they’re not set in stone will help if you want a second date. Because a dream is to move to New York one day. That doesn’t mean without you. But you have to think about if it comes to that, are you down? Another good way to word this question is "where do you see yourself in a few years?" I find that this is another good way to see their plans. The reason I word it above is that it’s less on the spot.

When was your last relationship?

I mean we like that juicy stuff right? This is a big one in telling you where this whole thing is going. Don’t pass judgment on the time and length of the relationship. Since a person can be checked out of a relationship for a while before pulling the plug. What you’re trying to do here see between the lines. Yes, read that body language and how they answer. If they are still hung up on their ex they will let you know. But yes finding out about their last relationship will give you clues about their style. If they say they don’t have a past relationship they might not believe in commitment. Listen to what they have to say without judgment but listen to your gut always.

Are you religious?

You gotta find out one way or another. You don’t want to have to break it down when they ask you to go to church or temple. It’s good to see what you’re working with. Especially if your spirituality is important to you or them. This helps determine if you’re life could be in alignment. To me, religion isn’t a huge deal-breaker. But I’m on the spiritual side. So if you’re going to make fun of me for my meditation or looking at signs. It’s not going to work. Lay your religious cards on the table.

What are you looking for in a relationship?

This is the number one question on this list. This question is what got me, my fiance. I’m not kidding. I asked this question on our first date. He answered “not nothing.” which was a good answer. When you’re asking this question you’re not hoping they say “I want to get married next year and have an SUV with two kids.” No, you’re trying to see if they’re down to date towards a relationship or if they’re playing the field. If they say I’m dating right now not looking for anything too serious. Then you know that’s what they’re doing. If they say I’m looking for a serious relationship then you need to think… is that what I want? So this is the question that can help you figure out if you’re serious too.

Side note later my bf now-fiance said that the question threw him off and he thought it was weird. But guess what? Not weird enough to not get in a relationship with me. As I mentioned if the chemistry is there then you don’t have to worry about one of these questions scaring him off.

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