How to Talk About Yourself on a First Date [4 Tips!]
How to talk about yourself on a first date
First dates can feel like job interviews. And like any job interview if you want it you need to come off as charming and irresistible. The same applies to dates. The last thing you want to do is be boring or scare them off. First dates can make or break the opportunity to have a second. I’m going to break down steps to give you a fighting chance of locking down more second dates.
Lean Positive
The first date is where a person is deciding if they can see themselves spending time with you. No one wants to hang with a downer. I’m not telling you to be someone you’re not. I’m telling you to put a positive spin on anything that you’re about to say negative. If you don’t know how to do that then this is a good time to start practicing.
An example is if you hate your job. Instead of going on and on about your sucky job. State the facts then say something positive. "I work in accounting, and the vacation time allows me to take long trips." You stated a fact and then something fun to change the subject.
Remember - Self-deprecation, negativity, and self-pity are not attractive qualities.
Joy, positivity, humor - those are things that work.
Keep it Conversational
You can create a lively conversation by involving the other person. Instead of droning on about yourself. If they ask where you have traveled. You can answer “Oh I’ve been to France it was great I went when I was in college doing study abroad. Did you do study abroad at your school?” This is a better way to have a conversation than listing off ever country you’ve gone too for 30 minutes. Also, this shows you're interested in getting to know them. Also if you noticed I didn’t say, to throw their question back at them. Yes, I’m explaining how a conversation works. But I’ve been on enough dates to know some of you need this information.
Be Honest
If there are things you enjoy or don’t you can be honest. You have to think of it this way. If this person is “the one” you want to start with honesty. That means be true to who you are. You don’t need to lie about how much money you have or pretend you work somewhere you don’t. Remember that this date is about compatibility. If they mention they love cats and you know you don’t and you’re allergic. Then you should let them know. You'll feel better knowing that you put your true self out there.
Don’t Go Heavy Too Fast
The first date should is supposed to be fun. As I mentioned you want to pivot to the positive when talking about yourself. On that same note, if the topic is better left to a therapist than hold off on it for the first date. Sometimes people get very deep on the first date and unload emotional baggage. Let a person get to know you before you let them know how effected you were when your father left you at 3. You’re putting your date in an awkward situation because they don’t know you yet. Give them a chance to know you better before tackling your issues.
Those are my tips for talking about yourself on a first date. For more dating advice check out my YouTube channel.
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